817 Notes To Self
An idea lovingly ripped off 1001 Rules For My Unborn Son - a practical guide to life for me, by me. And you, maybe. To suggest your own rule, email me at alastair.plumb at gmail.com
21. The Frasier Christmas episodes aren’t worth watching.
20. Sleeping with your hand beneath the pillow doesn’t work.
Either: you don’t get to sleep -or- you wake up in pain. I didn’t say this was anything other than practical.
19. Admitting you’re wrong is actually quite satisfying.
But don’t make it a habit, obviously.
18. You will, sooner or later, get a hangover.
Though it’s the morning after the night before, and by rights you should be burying your head in a bucket of ice, but somehow… it’s all fine. You’re breathing. You’re smiling. Maybe today you’ll have no hangover.
Do not be fooled. Use the morning to assemble muffins, orange juice and fruit, engulf them all, retreat to bed and wait for your vengeful liver to attack. Usually around 4pm.
“Where is that bastarding thing?”
17. Never bring your phone charger into work.
You will leave it there.
16. Do not refer to letters as numbers.
It will make you look illiterate.
“As we can see from number b here on your handout…”
(Submitted by Shona Ghosh)
15. Always look both ways before dropping the C word.
If young families or elderly people are present you could cause serious linguistic collateral damage and get loads of evils.
(Submitted by Stephen Eddie)
Piggy banks are not encouraged.
14. Keep a penny jar and use it.
You might never take it to the bank and cash it, but it doubles up as a great burglar-defence weapon. What’s more, small change is rubbish. Stupid pennies.
